I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
