I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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