You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
