Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
