I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
