Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school

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(301): remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school http://tfl.nu/dith

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option

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(403): i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option http://tfl.nu/a69i

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(410): View more from Maryland

is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?

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(410): is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend? http://tfl.nu/36no

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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(507): So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game. http://tfl.nu/nypl

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.

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(706): Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully. http://tfl.nu/qn1h

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(908): View more from New Jersey

He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"

(973): View more from New Jersey

What's this douchebags name?

(908): View more from New Jersey

Rob...

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(908): He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!" (973): What's this douchebags name? (908): Rob... http://tfl.nu/raez

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for

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(304): She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for http://tfl.nu/s392

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.

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(781): So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger. (603): Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat. http://tfl.nu/6067

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(954): View more from Florida

i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.

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(954): i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed. http://tfl.nu/a1x5

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me

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(203): Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me http://tfl.nu/rey7

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(847): View more from Illinois

That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am

(248): View more from Michigan

Hahaha. That's funny.

(847): View more from Illinois

But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship

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(847): That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am (248): Hahaha. That's funny. (847): But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship http://tfl.nu/cr13

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries

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(865): I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries http://tfl.nu/egp0

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(914): View more from New York

And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.

(845): View more from New York

I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?

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(914): And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken. (845): I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa? http://tfl.nu/09c4

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(843): View more from South Carolina

...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.

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(843): ...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us. http://tfl.nu/7j26

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.

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(610): Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow. http://tfl.nu/yt6q

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