Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.

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  (281): Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills. http://tfl.nu/z224
  Replies (11) Good night (971) Bad night (551)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.

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  (225): Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation. http://tfl.nu/om4a
  Replies (9) Good night (2199) Bad night (1331)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you

  (386): View more from Florida

  girlfriend?

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  (904): my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you (386): girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/fzzr
  Replies (21) Good night (903) Bad night (9461)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"

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  (661): Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std" http://tfl.nu/vth3
  Replies (29) Good night (3189) Bad night (1303)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder

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  (218): Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder http://tfl.nu/zi03
  Replies (10) Good night (3567) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.

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  (908): was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone. http://tfl.nu/nbte
  Replies (12) Good night (1222) Bad night (4072)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.

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  (506): yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her. http://tfl.nu/588d
  Replies (7) Good night (3080) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station

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  (303): Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station http://tfl.nu/qhlw
  Replies (6) Good night (934) Bad night (1712)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?

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  (760): I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways? http://tfl.nu/qqdu
  Replies (12) Good night (4591) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.

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  (724): You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to. http://tfl.nu/ryed
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.

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  (603): Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you. http://tfl.nu/ssin
  Replies (4) Good night (1206) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him

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  (215): I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him http://tfl.nu/j1cu
  Replies (4) Good night (1083) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.

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  (805): YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE. http://tfl.nu/6feq
  Replies (5) Good night (637) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.

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  (641): I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine. http://tfl.nu/ecbx
  Replies (0) Good night (384) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!

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  (360): OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!! http://tfl.nu/dp1t
  Replies (1) Good night (315) Bad night (568)

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