Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
