I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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