Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on

(384): View more from

How come?

(312): View more from Illinois

Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message

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(312): You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on (384): How come? (312): Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message http://tfl.nu/r9u6

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(970): View more from Colorado

i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show

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(970): i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show http://tfl.nu/yysf

Replies (5) Good night (2088) Bad night (1548)
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(512): View more from Texas

HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?

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(512): HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter? http://tfl.nu/9l91

Replies (22) Good night (658) Bad night (2516)
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(813): View more from Florida

Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.

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(813): Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive. http://tfl.nu/ya8a

Replies (13) Good night (878) Bad night (3491)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test

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(318): Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test http://tfl.nu/zno9

Replies (20) Good night (5527) Bad night (859)
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(757): View more from Virginia

you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

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(757): you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse' http://tfl.nu/umk4

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one

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(918): Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one http://tfl.nu/ihc6

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(208): View more from Idaho

please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack

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(208): please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack http://tfl.nu/5yj9

Replies (4) Good night (1241) Bad night (2324)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.

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(304): they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise. http://tfl.nu/xovb

Replies (7) Good night (1483) Bad night (969)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.

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(785): Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini. http://tfl.nu/90ss

Replies (10) Good night (3464) Bad night (756)
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(303): View more from Colorado

They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.

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(303): They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome. http://tfl.nu/wbzs

Replies (23) Good night (4315) Bad night (1084)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...

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(301): I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened... http://tfl.nu/z902

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face

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(617): For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face http://tfl.nu/7t4e

Replies (5) Good night (519) Bad night (918)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend

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(908): A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend http://tfl.nu/mrpt

Replies (0) Good night (730) Bad night (417)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??

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(608): He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case?? http://tfl.nu/iqff

Replies (4) Good night (391) Bad night (560)

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