Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?

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  (847): How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women? http://tfl.nu/e8g0
  Replies (92) Good night (1484) Bad night (3814)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do

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  (917): I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do http://tfl.nu/8eef
  Replies (10) Good night (3246) Bad night (860)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.

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  (204): The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume. http://tfl.nu/wyb3
  Replies (26) Good night (5654) Bad night (1493)
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  (408): View more from California

  I don't have enough holes for all these australians

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  (408): I don't have enough holes for all these australians http://tfl.nu/dq24
  Replies (13) Good night (5865) Bad night (1279)
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  (310): View more from California

  Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs

  (310): View more from California

  Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?

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  (310): Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs (310): Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor? http://tfl.nu/gbsd
  Replies (6) Good night (3782) Bad night (1107)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  There's always time for handjobs

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  (573): There's always time for handjobs http://tfl.nu/m1ol
  Replies (13) Good night (2599) Bad night (641)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.

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  (732): Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful. http://tfl.nu/p1yf
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (2666)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  So. She dumped me today.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".

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  (206): So. She dumped me today. (425): Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving". http://tfl.nu/4be4
  Replies (12) Good night (1170) Bad night (3344)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Now back to adults eating hotdogs.

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  (402): Now back to adults eating hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/i07d
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (416)
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  (227): View more from Maryland

  He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like

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  (227): He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like http://tfl.nu/muep
  Replies (13) Good night (1325) Bad night (491)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.

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  (610): I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels. http://tfl.nu/rc9i
  Replies (9) Good night (831) Bad night (432)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish

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  (210): I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish http://tfl.nu/kpto
  Replies (10) Good night (963) Bad night (370)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  who dressed up as a cop at your party???

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  idk I have to check. Why?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.

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  (724): who dressed up as a cop at your party??? (1-724): idk I have to check. Why? (724): he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM. http://tfl.nu/wn9a
  Replies (5) Good night (2440) Bad night (303)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...

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  (301): I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened... http://tfl.nu/z902
  Replies (6) Good night (650) Bad night (311)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...

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  (+44): I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt... http://tfl.nu/1ly3
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (526)

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