he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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