Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15

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(970): View more from Colorado

let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.

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(949): View more from California

Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3

(906): View more from Michigan

Omg sara

(920): View more from Wisconsin

I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty

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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far

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(850): View more from Florida

I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity

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