Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
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My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
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Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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