Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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