i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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