spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize