are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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