she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha