I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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