Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
