beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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