Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
