there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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