so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
