If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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