youre lurking in front of me
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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