she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm both gender and math confused
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
