She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
