Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
