We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
