Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
