Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
