Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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