Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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