Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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