They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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