i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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