Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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