no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
