Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
