the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
