Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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