i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
