he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
