I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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