think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
