i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
