just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
