You can't motorboat a personality
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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