i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
