Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Bring me that man meat
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
