he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Girls should come with a carfax report
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
