The maid of honor just puked.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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