I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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