You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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