Kiss
Puke
I think i peed on brittanys purse
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You've changed since you got that strap on
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
