dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
