ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
