tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
His hands were made for my vagina.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
