i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
