I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize