Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
