I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
