You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
