i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this beer tastes like vomit already
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
