I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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