Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
